Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Back home!
Got back home on Monday. Now the hard work begins! We continue to covet your prayers and your e-mails, cards and comments have been enouragements beyond description. Actually feeling weaker now than last week in the hospital but that's to be expected according to all of our literature. They want me to steer clear of public places for at least a month until our next meeting with our doctor in Cleveland.
Monday, December 21, 2009
TRANSPLANT DECEMBER 21
Dear Friends, It's day 4 after the transplant infusion. Rob's counts are very low - as expected and in his words it's "kicking his butt". His energy/strength is very low, the chemo is continuing to affect him from one end to the other (sore throat and digestive issues) and he doesn't feel like eating. As I said, all of this is expected but we are obviously hopeful that he will turn the corner soon. And as soon as his blood counts begin to recover (the stem cells take 7-10 days after infusion to mature and to be released into his bloodstream which then improves his counts), the symptoms that I listed above should begin to change for the better. The visits from family and dear friends, the cards, emails and prayer have certainly been an encouragement to us. We realize that all those things are part of what God uses to help us. We also continue to realize that God means every minute of this to be used toward our sanctification. We hope that we will be better servants on the other side of this and that we won't forget the many ways (in areas of trusting Him, being concerned about others and realizing that a relationship with Him is all that matters here on earth) that God is currently dealing with us. We also think that underlying all of this, He has drawn us closer to Him. Not in any mystical, undefinable way but in that He is changing our thoughts to reflect His Word. Please know though that we have our struggles also. We have fears and times of anxiousness. Many times we feel that we are almost out of strength. But we remember that the apostle Paul spoke of having difficult times yet in the end, he did not despair. And that is because he was upheld by God's "gracious, omnipotent" hand. And so the same for Rob and I! God never lies, He always sustains us and never leaves us. His goodness is constant and His power unending. We love you all and are so blessed through all your support and ministry. Merry Christmas! Kim
Friday, December 18, 2009
Transplant - Day 10
The actual reintroduction of my stem cells took place yesterday and was actually kind of anti-climatic. Only took an hour or so and then, poof, I'm finished. Now it's just a matter of recovery. My blood counts will all continue to go down for another week or so they tell me and then begin to gradually increase. I've had a lot less nasuea than I expected so that's been a blessing. Spiritually my biggest stuggles have been with my thoughts. I've got LOTS of time on my hand here and I'm finding it harder to read, concentrate, etc. Sometimes I can't imagine two more weeks of this. I don't think I'd do well in any kind of solitary confinement situation!
We were blessed with a wonderful visit from our dear friends Rick and Kim Snyder the other day who, among many other ways of ministering to us, gave us some great books. Among them is a great book on Puritan writings entitled: "The Valley of the Vision". Following is an entry entitled "The All God" which was particularly challenging and encouraging to me. Kim and I covet your prayers that these pure and godly thoughts may be ours as well:
MY GOD,Thou hast helped me to see,that whatever good be in honour and rejoicing,how good is he who gives them, and can withdraw them;that blessedness does not lie so much in receiving good from and in Thee,But in holding forth Thy glory and virtue:that is an amazing thing to see Deity in a creature,speaking, acting, filling, shining through it;that nothing is good but Thee,that I am near good when I am near Thee,that to be like You is a glorious thing: This is my magnet, my attraction.Thou art all my good in times of peace,my only support in days of trouble,my one sufficiency when life shall end. Help me to see how good Thy will is in all,and even when it crosses mine teach me to be pleased with it. Grant me to feel Thee in fire, and food and every providence,and to see that Thy many gifts and creatures are but Thy hands and fingers taking hold of me.Thou bottomless fountain of all good,I give myself to Thee out of love, for all I have or own is Thine,my goods, family, church, self, to do with as Thou wilt,to honour Thyself by me, and by all mine.If it be consistent with Thy eternal counsels,the purpose of Thy grace, and the great ends of Thy glory,then bestow upon me the blessings of Thy comforts;If not, let me resign myself to Thy wiser determinations.
We were blessed with a wonderful visit from our dear friends Rick and Kim Snyder the other day who, among many other ways of ministering to us, gave us some great books. Among them is a great book on Puritan writings entitled: "The Valley of the Vision". Following is an entry entitled "The All God" which was particularly challenging and encouraging to me. Kim and I covet your prayers that these pure and godly thoughts may be ours as well:
MY GOD,Thou hast helped me to see,that whatever good be in honour and rejoicing,how good is he who gives them, and can withdraw them;that blessedness does not lie so much in receiving good from and in Thee,But in holding forth Thy glory and virtue:that is an amazing thing to see Deity in a creature,speaking, acting, filling, shining through it;that nothing is good but Thee,that I am near good when I am near Thee,that to be like You is a glorious thing: This is my magnet, my attraction.Thou art all my good in times of peace,my only support in days of trouble,my one sufficiency when life shall end. Help me to see how good Thy will is in all,and even when it crosses mine teach me to be pleased with it. Grant me to feel Thee in fire, and food and every providence,and to see that Thy many gifts and creatures are but Thy hands and fingers taking hold of me.Thou bottomless fountain of all good,I give myself to Thee out of love, for all I have or own is Thine,my goods, family, church, self, to do with as Thou wilt,to honour Thyself by me, and by all mine.If it be consistent with Thy eternal counsels,the purpose of Thy grace, and the great ends of Thy glory,then bestow upon me the blessings of Thy comforts;If not, let me resign myself to Thy wiser determinations.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Transplant - Day 8
Rob is experiencing more of the chemo effects today so I (Kim) have been assigned the blog. We are so thankful that Rob has just received the last of his chemo today because although he still has a long way to go it's just very good to have this part of the transplant behind us. As Rob might have mentioned, the first 4 days (starting last Tuesday) were pretty good but then the side effects began in earnest on Saturday. We knew in advance of these side effects but it isn't easy to watch as the drugs do their job. But while that is true, we think that we are truly blessed to be able to have this treatment and a possible cure. I can also honestly write that these times of suffering have helped both of us draw closer to God and see that submission to His great truths (Trust His sovereignty, His commands are not burdensome, His will accomplishes glory for Him and good for us) is not only possible but is God's goal for us. I certainly don't claim to understand how God accomplishes all His purposes through trials but He addresses this subject many times in His Word and Rob and I are grateful that He teaches and comforts us with His words. I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you for your cards and prayers. The Bible does say that the "effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much," and we believe we are the recipients of God answering those prayers as He strengthens and helps us. And I also want all of you to know that your concern for us has been and continues to be a source of great encouragement to us. Tomorrow we will celebrate our 20th anniversary and although we're in the hospital I think it will be one of our most special anniversaries as we have been challenged to concentrate on what really matters in life. I'll sign off for now wishing you all a Merry Christmas. I'm also including Rob's address as some have asked for it, with much love, Kim.
Rob Ratliff
G110 Bed 5
Cleveland Clinic
9500 Euclid Ave., Cleveland, OH 44195
Rob Ratliff
G110 Bed 5
Cleveland Clinic
9500 Euclid Ave., Cleveland, OH 44195
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Transplant - Day 2
Arrived in Cleveland yesterday (Tuesday), was admitted and began receiving the first set of chemo last night. The first chemo drug (busulfan) is the mildest one and usually doesn't cause nausea, etc so that's encouraging but the next two are more powerful and more likely to cause side effects.
Reading through the Psalms so you'll probably get a dose of those as I keep you updated during the transplant:
Psalm 13:6 "I will sing to the Lord, Because He has dealt bountifully with me."
This is my prayer today. That I would not only agree with Scripture that God has and continues to deal bountifully with me no matter what my circumstances but that I will praise Him ("sing" to Him) for His past, continuing and future goodness to me. David pens these words not in a relative time of prosperity but in the midst of an incredible trial as related in verses 1 and 2:
"How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart daily? How long will my enemy be exalted over me?"
May our testimony in trials be like David's - not only reliance and trust in God but praise for His goodness despite circumstances.
Reading through the Psalms so you'll probably get a dose of those as I keep you updated during the transplant:
Psalm 13:6 "I will sing to the Lord, Because He has dealt bountifully with me."
This is my prayer today. That I would not only agree with Scripture that God has and continues to deal bountifully with me no matter what my circumstances but that I will praise Him ("sing" to Him) for His past, continuing and future goodness to me. David pens these words not in a relative time of prosperity but in the midst of an incredible trial as related in verses 1 and 2:
"How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart daily? How long will my enemy be exalted over me?"
May our testimony in trials be like David's - not only reliance and trust in God but praise for His goodness despite circumstances.
Friday, December 4, 2009
New admittance date
We're only moved back a week. I'll be readmitted for the stem cell transplant on Tuesday, December 8. Kim and I are currently enjoying the blessing of a weekend at home and we'll be here until leaving on Tuesday. Here's my new schedule:
I will be admitted on December 8 with chemo beginning then and accelerating on Dec 12. Great care is taken during the chemo part to insure that infection does not complicate things as the chemo will be destroying my natural immunity system making the dangers for infection increase. The return of my harvested stem cells is scheduled for the 17th followed by two weeks of monitoring and testing to assure that no complications are arising. If all goes well, according to the current schedule, I'll be released for home on New Year's Eve, the 31st.
I will be admitted on December 8 with chemo beginning then and accelerating on Dec 12. Great care is taken during the chemo part to insure that infection does not complicate things as the chemo will be destroying my natural immunity system making the dangers for infection increase. The return of my harvested stem cells is scheduled for the 17th followed by two weeks of monitoring and testing to assure that no complications are arising. If all goes well, according to the current schedule, I'll be released for home on New Year's Eve, the 31st.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Two great devotions - Spurgeon and MacArthur
Two awesome devotions today challenging believers with a Godly view of trials. As Kim and I reminded ourselves of today, it is not enough to not despair in trials but we are commanded and equipped to REJOICE in them! Not easy but wow!, what benefits when proper focus and thinking is in place and joy is the result. Here they are. Spurgeon's is first followed by MacArthur's:
“Thou hast made summer and winter.”
— Psalm 74:17
My soul begin this wintry month with thy God. The cold snows and the piercing winds all remind thee that he keeps his covenant with day and night, and tend to assure thee that he will also keep that glorious covenant which he has made with thee in the person of Christ Jesus. He who is true to his Word in the revolutions of the seasons of this poor sin-polluted world, will not prove unfaithful in his dealings with his own well-beloved Son.
Winter in the soul is by no means a comfortable season, and if it be upon thee just now it will be very painful to thee: but there is this comfort, namely, that the Lord makes it. He sends the sharp blasts of adversity to nip the buds of expectation: he scattereth the hoarfrost like ashes over the once verdant meadows of our joy: he casteth forth his ice like morsels freezing the streams of our delight. He does it all, he is the great Winter King, and rules in the realms of frost, and therefore thou canst not murmur. Losses, crosses, heaviness, sickness, poverty, and a thousand other ills, are of the Lord’s sending, and come to us with wise design. Frosts kill noxious insects, and put a bound to raging diseases; they break up the clods, and sweeten the soul. O that such good results would always follow our winters of affliction!
How we prize the fire just now! how pleasant is its cheerful glow! Let us in the same manner prize our Lord, who is the constant source of warmth and comfort in every time of trouble. Let us draw nigh to him, and in him find joy and peace in believing. Let us wrap ourselves in the warm garments of his promises, and go forth to labours which befit the season, for it were ill to be as the sluggard who will not plough by reason of the cold; for he shall beg in summer and have nothing.
Spurgeon, C. H. (1995). Morning and evening : Daily readings (December 1 AM). Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.
The Measure of Spiritual Maturity
In this I rejoice, yes; and will rejoice. Philippians 1:18
A believer’s spiritual maturity can be measured by what it takes to steal his joy. Joy is a fruit of a Spirit–controlled life (Gal. 5:22). We are to rejoice always (Phil. 4:4; 1 Thess. 5:16). In all circumstances the Holy Spirit produces joy, so there ought not to be any time when we are not rejoicing in some way.
Change, confusion, trials, attacks, unmet desires, conflict, and strained relationships can throw us off balance and rob us of our joy if we’re not careful. It’s then we should cry out like the psalmist, “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation” (Ps. 51:12).
Jesus said, “In the world you will have tribulation” (John 16:33), and the apostle James said, “Count it all joy when you fall into various trials” (James 1:2). God has His own profound purpose in our afflictions, but He never takes away our joy. To maintain our joy we must adopt God’s perspective regarding our trials. When we yield to the working of His Spirit in our lives, our difficulties will not overwhelm us.
MacArthur, J. (2001). Truth for today : A daily touch of God's grace (362). Nashville, Tenn.: J. Countryman.
“Thou hast made summer and winter.”
— Psalm 74:17
My soul begin this wintry month with thy God. The cold snows and the piercing winds all remind thee that he keeps his covenant with day and night, and tend to assure thee that he will also keep that glorious covenant which he has made with thee in the person of Christ Jesus. He who is true to his Word in the revolutions of the seasons of this poor sin-polluted world, will not prove unfaithful in his dealings with his own well-beloved Son.
Winter in the soul is by no means a comfortable season, and if it be upon thee just now it will be very painful to thee: but there is this comfort, namely, that the Lord makes it. He sends the sharp blasts of adversity to nip the buds of expectation: he scattereth the hoarfrost like ashes over the once verdant meadows of our joy: he casteth forth his ice like morsels freezing the streams of our delight. He does it all, he is the great Winter King, and rules in the realms of frost, and therefore thou canst not murmur. Losses, crosses, heaviness, sickness, poverty, and a thousand other ills, are of the Lord’s sending, and come to us with wise design. Frosts kill noxious insects, and put a bound to raging diseases; they break up the clods, and sweeten the soul. O that such good results would always follow our winters of affliction!
How we prize the fire just now! how pleasant is its cheerful glow! Let us in the same manner prize our Lord, who is the constant source of warmth and comfort in every time of trouble. Let us draw nigh to him, and in him find joy and peace in believing. Let us wrap ourselves in the warm garments of his promises, and go forth to labours which befit the season, for it were ill to be as the sluggard who will not plough by reason of the cold; for he shall beg in summer and have nothing.
Spurgeon, C. H. (1995). Morning and evening : Daily readings (December 1 AM). Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.
The Measure of Spiritual Maturity
In this I rejoice, yes; and will rejoice. Philippians 1:18
A believer’s spiritual maturity can be measured by what it takes to steal his joy. Joy is a fruit of a Spirit–controlled life (Gal. 5:22). We are to rejoice always (Phil. 4:4; 1 Thess. 5:16). In all circumstances the Holy Spirit produces joy, so there ought not to be any time when we are not rejoicing in some way.
Change, confusion, trials, attacks, unmet desires, conflict, and strained relationships can throw us off balance and rob us of our joy if we’re not careful. It’s then we should cry out like the psalmist, “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation” (Ps. 51:12).
Jesus said, “In the world you will have tribulation” (John 16:33), and the apostle James said, “Count it all joy when you fall into various trials” (James 1:2). God has His own profound purpose in our afflictions, but He never takes away our joy. To maintain our joy we must adopt God’s perspective regarding our trials. When we yield to the working of His Spirit in our lives, our difficulties will not overwhelm us.
MacArthur, J. (2001). Truth for today : A daily touch of God's grace (362). Nashville, Tenn.: J. Countryman.
surgery
They've determined the cause of my fever to be an infection association with my omaya (the stunt type thing that was inserted in my head in August to administer chemotherapy to my spinal fluid) so they're going to remove it. We're waiting for them to come and get me for this procedure as I type. After removal, I'll be put on an antibiotic regimen that will delay my stem cell admittance (it was supposed to be today, December 1) by probably two weeks. I'll keep you posted.
Please continue to pray for Kim and I specifically that we remain focused on God's goodness and His sanctifying purposes through all this in our lives. We were both challenged and encouraged today by both Spurgeon and MacArthur in their daily devotions (see next post) on this subject. The fact that it keeps popping up in our lives is no accident and as I've mentioned before, I covet your prayers for our Spiritual growth MUCH MUCH more than prayers for health and recovery which is only temporary in the scope of eternity.
With love,
Rob
Please continue to pray for Kim and I specifically that we remain focused on God's goodness and His sanctifying purposes through all this in our lives. We were both challenged and encouraged today by both Spurgeon and MacArthur in their daily devotions (see next post) on this subject. The fact that it keeps popping up in our lives is no accident and as I've mentioned before, I covet your prayers for our Spiritual growth MUCH MUCH more than prayers for health and recovery which is only temporary in the scope of eternity.
With love,
Rob
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