Had a pretty discouraging disapointment recently. The stem cell collecting went great - I was done in two days - so we left on Wednesday for a long Thanksgiving weekend at home before returning back to be admitted on Tuesday. No sooner than we got home, however, that I started running a fever and we had to head back to the hospital, Lima first and then a midnight transport to Cleveland, where they admitted me early in the morning of Thanksgiving and are currently pumping me with antibiotics and trying to find the source of the fever. The disappointment reminded me again of how easy it is to lose eternal perspective. While I thought a long weekend was of utmost importance, I am reminded again that God's purposes are eternal and that His desire is to conform me into a person who glorifies Him by thinking and acting in the eternal realm instead of the temporal. I'll be the first to admit though, it sure ain't natural or easy.
Hebrews 4:14-16
Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Cleveland Culture
Since we've spent so much time in Cleveland, I thought it would be fun to check out the cultural sites of this great city. So where do we head first? Why to the house they used for the filming of "A Christmas Story" of course! When you get to this place, you wonder how in the world they found it or what set this house apart. It's in a typical old city neighborhood with run down houses though there was a wonderful view of a steel mill complex behind the house. There is a tour offered though we didn't take it (not very accessible) but we did go to the gift shop. I tried to talk Kim into the full size lace skirt lamp (one of which has a prominent spot in the front window to the house) but she nixed the idea. Settled for a couple of t-shirts.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Great stuff from Spurgeon
A personal favorite pastor/author of mine. Timeless though over 100 years old. This is from his evening devotion on Nov 11:
"He shall choose our inheritance for us."
— Psalm 47:4
Believer, if your inheritance be a lowly one you should be satisfied with your earthly portion; for you may rest assured that it is the fittest for you. Unerring wisdom ordained your lot, and selected for you the safest and best condition. A ship of large tonnage is to be brought up the river; now, in one part of the stream there is a sandbank; should some one ask, "Why does the captain steer through the deep part of the channel and deviate so much from a straight line?" His answer would be, "Because I should not get my vessel into harbour at all if I did not keep to the deep channel." So, it may be, you would run aground and suffer shipwreck, if your divine Captain did not steer you into the depths of affliction where waves of trouble follow each other in quick succession. Some plants die if they have too much sunshine. It may be that you are planted where you get but little, you are put there by the loving Husbandman, because only in that situation will you bring forth fruit unto perfection. Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there. You are placed by God in the most suitable circumstances, and if you had the choosing of your lot, you would soon cry, "Lord, choose my inheritance for me, for by my self-will I am pierced through with many sorrows." Be content with such things as you have, since the Lord has ordered all things for your good. Take up your own daily cross; it is the burden best suited for your shoulder, and will prove most effective to make you perfect in every good word and work to the glory of God. Down busy self, and proud impatience, it is not for you to choose, but for the Lord of Love!
"Trials must and will befall—
But with humble faith to see
Love inscribed upon them all;
This is happiness to me."
"He shall choose our inheritance for us."
— Psalm 47:4
Believer, if your inheritance be a lowly one you should be satisfied with your earthly portion; for you may rest assured that it is the fittest for you. Unerring wisdom ordained your lot, and selected for you the safest and best condition. A ship of large tonnage is to be brought up the river; now, in one part of the stream there is a sandbank; should some one ask, "Why does the captain steer through the deep part of the channel and deviate so much from a straight line?" His answer would be, "Because I should not get my vessel into harbour at all if I did not keep to the deep channel." So, it may be, you would run aground and suffer shipwreck, if your divine Captain did not steer you into the depths of affliction where waves of trouble follow each other in quick succession. Some plants die if they have too much sunshine. It may be that you are planted where you get but little, you are put there by the loving Husbandman, because only in that situation will you bring forth fruit unto perfection. Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there. You are placed by God in the most suitable circumstances, and if you had the choosing of your lot, you would soon cry, "Lord, choose my inheritance for me, for by my self-will I am pierced through with many sorrows." Be content with such things as you have, since the Lord has ordered all things for your good. Take up your own daily cross; it is the burden best suited for your shoulder, and will prove most effective to make you perfect in every good word and work to the glory of God. Down busy self, and proud impatience, it is not for you to choose, but for the Lord of Love!
"Trials must and will befall—
But with humble faith to see
Love inscribed upon them all;
This is happiness to me."
Monday, November 9, 2009
at the Hope Lodge
We've been blessed again with a place at the Hope Lodge which I mentioned in an earlier blog. Had my Horizon Catheter placed today with no problems. It's a bit uncomfortable right now but is sure going to be worth any discomfort considering that from now on I won't need an IV to give blood samples, stem cells or receive chemo. Kim and I were singing the hymn "How Firm a Foundation" yesterday. The entire hymn is so encouraging with the truths that are presented. For example, verses 2 and 3:
‘Fear not, I am with thee; O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.
When thro’ fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.
I'm finding more and more that I need continual, repetitive reminders of God's wonderful truths or off I go letting my mind wander to worry, fear, etc. Please pray for us, especially during these next 6 weeks or so as my treatments intensify. Pray that Kim and I would be continually reminded of God's goodness, omnipotence and loving work in our lives through this time and that our "dross is consumed" to be replaced by the gold of God's righteousness.
2 Tim 2:19: "Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity.”
‘Fear not, I am with thee; O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.
When thro’ fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.
I'm finding more and more that I need continual, repetitive reminders of God's wonderful truths or off I go letting my mind wander to worry, fear, etc. Please pray for us, especially during these next 6 weeks or so as my treatments intensify. Pray that Kim and I would be continually reminded of God's goodness, omnipotence and loving work in our lives through this time and that our "dross is consumed" to be replaced by the gold of God's righteousness.
2 Tim 2:19: "Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity.”
Thursday, October 29, 2009
what lies ahead (medically)
As mentioned, God willing, we are preceding toward a stem cell transplant which medically is the best shot we've got at keeping this thing from coming back. Of course we know that our wonderful Sovereign God has us and specifically my medical condition in His loving and perfect hands so His awesome will be wonderfully executed which, of course, is a great comfort to us as we look ahead to what is, humanly speaking, a rather scary process. First, next week I have a 10th "omaya" procedure scheduled to insert chemo into my spinal fluid on Tuesday the 3rd followed by an ekg, chest x-ray, lab work and a visit with my oncologist Dr. Smith on Thursday the 5th. Dr. Smith will go over all the recent labs with us and hopefully give us the green light to start on the road to the stem cell transplant.
Stem Cell Transplant
The particular type of transplant I am schedule to receive involves harvesting my own clean "baby" stem cells, as they've described by the Clinic staff, having me undergo an intense series of chemo therapy that will basically kill off my existing stem cells and hopefully any cells that will ever turn cancerous, and then re-introduce my own saved stem cells back into my body. The schedule right now looks like this:
Nov 9-27. Preparation for stem cell collection followed by 5 days (23-27) of the collection itself. The preparation will include the insertion of a catheter that will be used for the collection and future chemo as well as two weeks of treatments (16-20th) designed to ready my body for the harvesting which is to begin on the 23rd and last for 5 days. Assuming the harvesting goes as planned ...
Dec 1-24 I will be admitted on December 1 with chemo beginning then and accelerating on Dec 5. Great care is taken during the chemo part to insure that infection does not complicate things as the chemo will be destroying my natural immunity system making the dangers for infection increase. The return of my harvested stem cells is scheduled for the 10th followed by two weeks of monitoring and testing to assure that no complications are arising. If all goes well, according to the current schedule, I'll be released for home on Christmas Eve, the 24th.
Stem Cell Transplant
The particular type of transplant I am schedule to receive involves harvesting my own clean "baby" stem cells, as they've described by the Clinic staff, having me undergo an intense series of chemo therapy that will basically kill off my existing stem cells and hopefully any cells that will ever turn cancerous, and then re-introduce my own saved stem cells back into my body. The schedule right now looks like this:
Nov 9-27. Preparation for stem cell collection followed by 5 days (23-27) of the collection itself. The preparation will include the insertion of a catheter that will be used for the collection and future chemo as well as two weeks of treatments (16-20th) designed to ready my body for the harvesting which is to begin on the 23rd and last for 5 days. Assuming the harvesting goes as planned ...
Dec 1-24 I will be admitted on December 1 with chemo beginning then and accelerating on Dec 5. Great care is taken during the chemo part to insure that infection does not complicate things as the chemo will be destroying my natural immunity system making the dangers for infection increase. The return of my harvested stem cells is scheduled for the 10th followed by two weeks of monitoring and testing to assure that no complications are arising. If all goes well, according to the current schedule, I'll be released for home on Christmas Eve, the 24th.
another overdue update
I'm really not being good and being regular with this, am I! I'll fill you in on what we've been up to the last few weeks:
Oct 5-7: Our last schedule chemo treatment at Cleveland Clinic. Nice to get this part of the process behind us. A little expected nausea for a couple days after returning home but nothing major.
Oct 12-15. We returned to Cleveland for a lot of meetings and tests for the purpose of restaging my cancer and getting us prepared for what all of this has been leading up to: A stem cell transplant. More details on that in the next post. Hopefully the scans, blood work, spinal fluid analysis and bone marrow biopsy will show that the cancer is no longer present and allow us to continue on our transplant path. We enjoyed the benefits of the Hope Lodge for the first time on this trip to Cleveland. Hope Lodge is a facility 5 minutes east of the Clinic near the campus of Case Western that allows cancer patients and their care givers free stay while undergoing outpatient procedures at the Clinic. It's a very nice facility and we enjoyed yet another way God is providing for us in every need with our stay there. We are hoping to stay there again in the near future assuming our schedule goes as planned.
Oct 16-present. We've enjoyed some quite down time since returning from Cleveland on the 15th. Kim has been using the time to catch up on stuff around the house and we've been enjoying the time together re-establishing a consistent devotion time together with the help John McArthur's online resources at www.gty.org Personally my legs and consequently my walking have been getting stronger. I've been wearing braces regularly once again that were created for me a couple of months ago and have been enjoying greater mobility - walking more with the walker instead of staying in the wheel chair. I've been also sneaking out and driving a little more often to Delphos and back mostly. I'm tempted to get that 87 diesel Mercedes out and have some fun but don't think I'd get away with that! Had a wonderful blessing yesterday, Weds the 28th, with visits from 3 wonderful friends. My oldest friend, Dan Gamble, who I've known since 2nd grade found an excuse to get over to this area from his Marysville to spend a few hours with me and then I was surprised and blessed with a visit from Celina friends Ken Lange and Aaron Beougher who were on their way to a girl's volleyball game in Findlay and stopped by. It was a wonderful day! and I enjoyed catching up with 3 great friends.
Oct 5-7: Our last schedule chemo treatment at Cleveland Clinic. Nice to get this part of the process behind us. A little expected nausea for a couple days after returning home but nothing major.
Oct 12-15. We returned to Cleveland for a lot of meetings and tests for the purpose of restaging my cancer and getting us prepared for what all of this has been leading up to: A stem cell transplant. More details on that in the next post. Hopefully the scans, blood work, spinal fluid analysis and bone marrow biopsy will show that the cancer is no longer present and allow us to continue on our transplant path. We enjoyed the benefits of the Hope Lodge for the first time on this trip to Cleveland. Hope Lodge is a facility 5 minutes east of the Clinic near the campus of Case Western that allows cancer patients and their care givers free stay while undergoing outpatient procedures at the Clinic. It's a very nice facility and we enjoyed yet another way God is providing for us in every need with our stay there. We are hoping to stay there again in the near future assuming our schedule goes as planned.
Oct 16-present. We've enjoyed some quite down time since returning from Cleveland on the 15th. Kim has been using the time to catch up on stuff around the house and we've been enjoying the time together re-establishing a consistent devotion time together with the help John McArthur's online resources at www.gty.org Personally my legs and consequently my walking have been getting stronger. I've been wearing braces regularly once again that were created for me a couple of months ago and have been enjoying greater mobility - walking more with the walker instead of staying in the wheel chair. I've been also sneaking out and driving a little more often to Delphos and back mostly. I'm tempted to get that 87 diesel Mercedes out and have some fun but don't think I'd get away with that! Had a wonderful blessing yesterday, Weds the 28th, with visits from 3 wonderful friends. My oldest friend, Dan Gamble, who I've known since 2nd grade found an excuse to get over to this area from his Marysville to spend a few hours with me and then I was surprised and blessed with a visit from Celina friends Ken Lange and Aaron Beougher who were on their way to a girl's volleyball game in Findlay and stopped by. It was a wonderful day! and I enjoyed catching up with 3 great friends.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Macedonian giving
Wow! Sorry it’s been so (too!) long since we’ve updated this page. We’ve been enjoying the relative calm of 2 ½ weeks at home. Kim’s been catching up with household stuff she needs to get done and I’ve been trying to stay healthy and gain strength walking on the walker, etc. Actually trying to gain weight in preparation for more treatments which is something I’ve never had as a goal before. It’s actually kind of nice! It’s nice to have a reason to enjoy a milkshake daily!
We continue to enjoy the many blessings we’re receiving from the many wonderful people God has placed in our lives. The students and staff at Apollo literally overwhelmed us by having a dress down day recently in order to collect money to help us out. Going from my love of the Cincinnati Reds, students and staff paid to dress down in casual red colored clothing. My supervisor, Natalie, brought the outcome to Kim and I along with a picture of the staff dressed in red in my classroom and brought us to tears. What a joy it is to see God working in so many ways! Other blessings of heartfelt entries in cards and letters along with numerous Scripture verses from so many of you have ministered to us in wonderful ways. It reminds me of Paul’s commendation of the Macedonian churches in 2 Cor 8:1-5:
8:1 Moreover, brethren, we make known to you the grace of God bestowed on the churches of Macedonia: 2 that in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded in the riches of their liberality. 3 For I bear witness that according to their ability, yes, and beyond their ability, they were freely willing, 4 imploring us with much urgency that we would receive the gift and the fellowship of the ministering to the saints. 5 And not only as we had hoped, but they first gave themselves to the Lord, and then to us by the will of God.
Another thing God has worked on to both Kim and I through this trial is being on the receiving end of ministry. Kim and I share the trait of being private kind of people and while, I believe, God doesn’t want us to always be spouting off every little thing going on in our lives to others, we’ve been convicted of the fact that we’ve erred on the other end of the spectrum – being so private as to try to squelch the ministry opportunities God has provided to others in opportunities to minister to us. We’re both working on opening up our lives more and more to others – in fact this blog is an example of that – and welcoming the gifts others have in ministering to us. In the passage from 2 Cor above, I put myself in Paul’s position and think what a wonderful blessing the Macedonia giving was to him! I can’t imagine the encouragement that incredible giving ("beyond their ability" in verse 3) was to Paul and his crew during the trying times they faced in ministry. Kim and I are enjoying that same form of encouragement through the ministry of so many of you to us. You are not only ministering to us, you are teaching us many wonderful godly truths through your actions and we are very appreciative of it.
We head back up to Cleveland for 3 days of treatments this Monday through Wednesday (the 5th through the 7th).
In Christ’s love,
Rob
We continue to enjoy the many blessings we’re receiving from the many wonderful people God has placed in our lives. The students and staff at Apollo literally overwhelmed us by having a dress down day recently in order to collect money to help us out. Going from my love of the Cincinnati Reds, students and staff paid to dress down in casual red colored clothing. My supervisor, Natalie, brought the outcome to Kim and I along with a picture of the staff dressed in red in my classroom and brought us to tears. What a joy it is to see God working in so many ways! Other blessings of heartfelt entries in cards and letters along with numerous Scripture verses from so many of you have ministered to us in wonderful ways. It reminds me of Paul’s commendation of the Macedonian churches in 2 Cor 8:1-5:
8:1 Moreover, brethren, we make known to you the grace of God bestowed on the churches of Macedonia: 2 that in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded in the riches of their liberality. 3 For I bear witness that according to their ability, yes, and beyond their ability, they were freely willing, 4 imploring us with much urgency that we would receive the gift and the fellowship of the ministering to the saints. 5 And not only as we had hoped, but they first gave themselves to the Lord, and then to us by the will of God.
Another thing God has worked on to both Kim and I through this trial is being on the receiving end of ministry. Kim and I share the trait of being private kind of people and while, I believe, God doesn’t want us to always be spouting off every little thing going on in our lives to others, we’ve been convicted of the fact that we’ve erred on the other end of the spectrum – being so private as to try to squelch the ministry opportunities God has provided to others in opportunities to minister to us. We’re both working on opening up our lives more and more to others – in fact this blog is an example of that – and welcoming the gifts others have in ministering to us. In the passage from 2 Cor above, I put myself in Paul’s position and think what a wonderful blessing the Macedonia giving was to him! I can’t imagine the encouragement that incredible giving ("beyond their ability" in verse 3) was to Paul and his crew during the trying times they faced in ministry. Kim and I are enjoying that same form of encouragement through the ministry of so many of you to us. You are not only ministering to us, you are teaching us many wonderful godly truths through your actions and we are very appreciative of it.
We head back up to Cleveland for 3 days of treatments this Monday through Wednesday (the 5th through the 7th).
In Christ’s love,
Rob
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